Note To Self with Brinda Devine

Today is my fourth post in this series.

I hope it gives a new perspective on a common problem.

Series: Black Woman/ What I Didn’t Tell You

Topic: Work on your communication

If you are a Black woman with a job or career, and are intelligent, can think and speak for yourself, I’m sure at some point you have been informed in an annual review or meeting with your boss that - “you need to work on your communication style”.

I am assertive, straightforward and honest, and have ignored this message many times. But a few years ago, I decided maybe it’s me, maybe I need to improve my communication style, so I did and learned five things:

1. Listen and pay attention to what’s said and not said

2. there are more sheep than lions in this world,

3. know your audience,

4. start my conversations with love and understanding, and

5. the people that were criticizing me had little to no experience communicating with someone like me - a Black woman.

You see, I don’t look, speak or act like the people they are accustomed to seeing across the table. It was easier ask me to lean in and conform into something they were familiar with than to lean in together and get to know each other as - people.

Spiritually and professionally, it’s very important that you know that there is nothing wrong with you, you are beautiful, intelligent, capable and valuable. There is always room for improvement, but you have to solidify your value within your own heart and mind and not rely on others including your boss or leadership to validate you or your expertise.

Don’t fall for the mind games, continue to be you, improve, learn and expand your circle where needed, but always be you.

Inspirational messages,





Phone: (248) 219-6685

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