I have finally acknowledged that I a can do a much better job at listening to people. In my request to God to open my heart, I am starting to understand how important it is in the dynamics of my marriage (yes, I'm married, stop playing), my son, my job and the most important, my relationship with God.
This week I have personally challenged my self to listen more. Below are 10 great ways to listen better that I found in an article.After reading the article, I see that I have some work to do.
The Top 10 Rules for Effective Listening
1.Stop Talking! It is difficult to listen and speak at the same time.
2. Put the other person at ease. Give them space and time and “permission” to speak their piece. How we look at them, how we stand or sit, make a huge difference. Relax, and let them relax as well.
3. Show the other person that you want to hear them. Look at them. Nod when you can agree, ask them to explain further if you don’t understand. Listen to understand them and their words, rather than just for your turn to respond.
4. Remove distractions. Good listening means being willing to not answer the phone, close a door, or stop reading your email. Give the speaker your full attention, and let them know they are getting your full attention.
5. Empathize with the other person. Especially if they are telling you something painful, or something you intensely disagree with, take a moment to stand in their shoes, to look at the situation from their point of view. Empathy is highly correlated to success.
6. Be patient. Some people take longer to find the right word, to make a point or clarify an issue. Give the speaker time to get it all out before you jump in with your reply. Never finish someone else’s statements for them. If you have a time constraint, tell the other person up front but be willing to provide a specific time for a follow-up later.
7. Watch your own emotions. If what they are saying creates an emotional response in you, be extra vigilant to listen carefully, with attention to the intent and full meaning of their words. When we are angry, frightened or upset, we often miss critical parts of what is being said to us.
8. Be very slow to disagree, criticize or argue. Even if you disagree, let them have their point of view. If you respond in a way that makes the other person defensive, even if you “win” the argument, you may lose something far more valuable!
9. Ask lots of questions. Ask the speaker to clarify, to say more, give an example, or explain further. It will help them speak more precisely and it will help you hear and understand them more accurately.
10. STOP TALKING! This is both the first and the last point, because all other tools depend on it. God gave us two ears and only one tongue, which is a gentle hint that we should listen twice as much as we talk.
Have a great day and listen.
If you are new to the idea of purpose, I encourage you purchase my first book, Discover Your Value, Discover Your Purpose (available on this website and Amazon) and visit the website posts and Channel: Purpose videos on this website.
If you know your purpose, I encourage you to purchase my second book, Authentication Process (available on this website and Amazon) and visit the website posts and Channel: Authentication Process on this website.
Brinda Devine, is the author of her signature book, Discover Your Value, Discover Your Purpose and her second book, Authentication Process. Brinda is also the founder of Purpose Institute, an organization with a mission to share the importance of making PURPOSE FIRST in our everyday lives.
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